Today was a bad day. I spoke to our agency this afternoon about our upcoming move and all the ridiculousness surrounded by it. In short, we're moving to a new state in roughly two and a half weeks. When we move, our current home study will expire. We can't officially start our next home study until we have a place of residence because we have to be assigned a social worker. Social workers are assigned by proximity. The home study agency can't pick which social worker is going to be closest to us because we don't have a place to live yet. No home study and no home study in progress means that our agency can no longer present us to potential birthmothers. That means, basically, that we're going to have to put the whole adoption process on hold until our house sells. Our only other alternative would be to move into a small apartment until we sell the house and can move into a new one. The problem with that is how do we afford it? We're a single income household. And although we don't live paycheck-to-paycheck right now, we don't really have enough money to pay for both a mortgage and an apartment either. Because we have a (ginormous) dog, getting an apartment is going to be more expensive than if it were just the two of us. And there's no way we could leave Piper behind with my parents. She gets separation anxiety when we go away for a week. Leaving her for a month or two (or more) would be too traumatic. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to put our file on hold because I'm afraid we'll miss out on a match opportunity. But I don't want to bankrupt us for the sake of starting the new home study because then we won't be able to afford the legal fees for the adoption, let alone offer any financial support to a birthmother. I feel like no matter what decision I make, it's going to be the wrong one. I feel like nothing is going right, like nothing is ever going to be right, and like there's nothing I can do about it. I am a proactive person. It's not in my nature to just sit by and let the sugar hit the fan. But I feel so helpless right now. Everywhere I turn there's just more trouble coming my way.