This Thursday will mark 10 months since our disruption. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, we're STILL waiting and there's STILL nothing new to report. We won't meet with our new social worker until the end of the month. We'll have two visits with her before our new home study is finalized. The check for our new FBI fingerprint requests finally cleared the bank about a week ago. So hopefully we'll have all our paperwork together by the time we meet with the social worker. Again... not that it matters because we don't have any pending matches on the horizon.
I'm trying very hard to stay positive, but it's not easy. I keep hearing other couples' stories about successful placements or couples who placed very quickly after their disruption. I want to believe that there's a reason we haven't been picked by a birthmother yet. I want to believe that there's a reason we haven't been blessed with parenthood yet. I want to. But again, it's not easy.
Faith call us to do difficult things. We are stretched to our limits and then stretched a little more, just to see how much we can handle. More often than not we surprise ourselves with our strength and endurance. But that doesn't make the stretching any less painful. All we can do is keep moving forward as best we can, and keep looking to the future instead of dwelling in the past.
And may the peace of the Lord be always with you.