Monday, September 13, 2010

September Adoption Update

Wow I can't believe how crazy fast September is going by! How did we get to the middle of the month already? There still isn't much to report on the adoption front. We've had our two visits with our social worker already and our home study should be done very soon. All our criminal clearances have already come back (spotlessly clean, of course) and we've turned in all our paperwork so we're just waiting for Jaclyn, the social worker, to write up her report. Once she's got the first draft, she'll send it to us to review to check for errors on names, ages, dates of important events, or any details that we told her about ourselves or our life together. If everything is correct, then she'll send the final draft back to the home study agency to compile her report with all our clearances and paperwork. A complete home study packet will be sent to us and an additional copy will go to our agency. I'm hoping we can be finished by the end of the month, but we'll just have to wait and see.

As soon as we are home study approved, I'm going to call our agency and insist that we be put back on the featured families list. We are VERY quickly approaching the one year mark since our disruption (today marks 11 months and 1 day). We paid them (a lot of) good money to present us to prospective birthmothers. I know for a fact that there are MANY birthmothers using our agency every month. At this point I feel like our file should be presented to all of them for their review. When the right birthmother for us comes along, she'll know and she'll pick us... but only if she is given a chance to see our profile. At the very least, I think we should be presented to any birthmother who's adoptive family search criteria loosely matches our stats (ages, ethnicity, location, religious background, etc etc). I don't think that's an unreasonable request. If a birthmother isn't interested, then she isn't interested. But at least we tried, right?

Other than that, I'm still working on getting our baby clothes sorted and organized. I sorted through all the gender neutral stuff by size and whether it had long sleeves, short sleeves, was a full body suit, or infant gown. But the remaining two-thirds of our baby clothes are all girly pink and still in need of organization. It may take me a few more weeks to work up the emotional energy for the task.

I've talked to two of my three professors about the possibility of me missing class to travel out-of-state for an adoption. Two of my professors said that they would be more than happy to work with me and to just keep them updated as I find anything out. I still haven't talked to my anatomy and physiology professor. The other students always rush him at the end of class and I'm too lazy to go to his office hours. I'll get to it sooner or later but I'm pretty sure I'll be okay as long as I don't have to miss a lab exam. They're much harder to make up than lecture exams because they're both practicals involving tissue slides or dissections. Hopefully I can dodge those two dates, though.

So for now it's just more of the waiting game. Waiting waiting waiting.....

And may the peace of the Lord be always with you.


  1. Hi Jenny! I just found your blog and would love to follow your adoption journey. We recently adopted through ANLC, so I love seeing other couples' experiences. Hope you don't mind if I link to you. Best of luck in your adoption!

  2. Congratulations on your recent adoption, Stephanie. We've been working with ANLC for over a year so we hope to start making progress again soon. I would love for you to share my blog with anyone who might be interested. Thanks for reading! :)

  3. P.S. I would also strongly recommend that you and your husband consider grief counseling for the loss of being able to conceive a child. It is imperative that you work through that loss before adopting any child, adoption is about providing a child with a loving home, not healing wounds caused by infertility. I am sorry for your loss.

  4. I agree with you, Liz. And yes, we have been through counseling. But with any significant loss, whether the loss of fertility or the loss of a loved one, grief is not something that simply goes away. Learning to let it go is a lifelong process, one that we are continuing to work on.

    For me, the goal was never to be pregnant, but just to be a mother. It doesn't matter to me whether we adopt, pursue extensive fertility treatments, or are blessed with a surprise miracle pregnancy. What matters to me is family, and that includes the biological parents of any baby we may adopt in the future.

    I don't want anyone to be unhappy. I don't want to cause anyone any pain or regret. I want a birthmother who is looking for a family. Not just a family for her baby, but also for herself. I would want her to know that she is as much a part of our family as the baby she decides to place with us, and she always will be.


I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.